Kinky Friedman - They Aint Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore

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Band name Kinky Friedman
Song name They Aint Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore
Tab type Guitar tab
Added 05/23/2008
Size 4.02 kb
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|-------------------------------------------|
| They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore |
|-------------------------------------------|
|     Kinky Friedman & the Texas Jewboys    |
|-------------------------------------------|

Transcribed by Gaz Owen 

[Note to the offended : The redneck expressing abhorrent racist views
 in this song gets a good kicking at the end.  As Woody Allen said about the
 KKK:  "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, 
        and then go down and meet them with baseball bats."]
                                                     
This seems mainly OK, but somethings missing in the  verse/chorus transition.  
Corrections/abuse to kinkytabs @ gwowen.freeserve.co.uk

The notation D* is a plain D major chord with a little bass run going into the
next G chord (either the next verse or a chorus).
I play something very simple like this:

e ---2-----|---3-
B ---3-----|---3-
G ---2-----|---0-                    [Not exactly James Burton,
D -0---2-4-|-----                     but what are y'gonna do?]
A ---------|-----
E ---------|-3---
  [D*]      [G]   ... etc ...


[intro]
       G                 C                 D                  G
Well a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was guzzling Lone Star beer
        G            C            D                G
Talking religion and politics for all the world to hear
             G                                C
"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one,
     D                                            D*                G
 You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God's only son"

[verse]
      G                                     C
"Well has it occured to you, you nerd, that thats not very nice?
    D                                   D*           G
"We Jews believe it was Santa Claus who killed Jesus Christ"
     G                                     C
"You know you don't look Jewish," he said, "Near as I could figure"
   D                                        D*
"I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger"

[Chorus]
    G                           D7
Now they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
D7                                  C                  G
They don't turn the other cheek the way they've done before
   G                         G7              C
He started into shouting and spitting on the floor
      G                           D        G
Lord, they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore

[As verse]
He says, "I ain't a racist, but Aristotle Onassis is one Greek we don't need"
"Them niggers, Jews and Sigma Mu's all they ever do is breed"
"Now wops and micks and slopes and spics and spooks are on my list
"And theres one little hebe from the heart of Texas.
                                            Is there anyone I missed?"

Well I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes
"I'm gonna get you, you son of a bitch, for spouting that pack of lies
"If theres one thing I can't abide it's an ethnocentric racist"
"Now you take back that thing you said about Aristotle Onassis"

[As Chorus to end]
Now they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
We don't turn the other cheek the way they've done before
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
They sure ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore

[instrumental]

They ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
We don't turn the other cheek the way they've done before
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore

They ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore
??? carpenters who know what nails are for
The whole damn place was singing as I strolled right out the door
They sure ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore

[fade]

-- 
Gareth Owen